I love my new friend

I didn't have a friend between 10 to 15 years so my life was so lonely, I was so lonely and bored I wanted someone, anyone to invite me over to their house but no one did.  One friend did do something with us every December for our birthdays but my sister and I had to wait for a year, and then another friend took us out every now and then and I really appreciate when friend remember us and did things with us like a few times about 13 to 15 years ago friends did come over to my house and we did do scrapbooking together, I loved that but even though I really appreciate the time that people did spend with me, it seems like I always wanted more, more time with them, more love and more attention, it feels good to be with somebody rather with nobody, and even though my sister is home with me now, thank goodness, I can't say that I am home alone anymore.  It still gets pretty lonely without anyone actual doing things with you.  That's why I think it would be fun to have a big family or to even have family here, so we could do things together and never be lonely.

Just before my Grandma got sick and died, I loved my Grandma, I started calling her and talking to her about 10 year ago and I miss talking to her, she was an awesome grandma to me but I did get frustrated at her when she never called me though, I wondered why she never called me.  So anyway one time we were talking on the phone and I was telling her about my first friend that I met after I got out of school, I had prayed that I would find a friend, someone I could walk to their house even though I know I would bug her, I wanted a friend, my prayers were answered I met my friend on January 1993 and we started doing things together shortly after that, but it's funny that I have to make the first move before they start doing things with me.  We have been thing ever since until she moved in February 96, I thought we would keep in touch at least but she stopped keeping in touch with me altogether after we moved on December 26, 1996.  So basically she was my friend for only 3 years.  Before they moved I thought we would still do things together but not as often as before but she didn't, that broke my heart because I really liked that family.  It still hurts me that she didn't like me enough to keep in touch with me.  I met my other friend after we moved in our ward and we remained friends until we switch wards witch I didn't understand that, because she didn't move or anything we just switched wards.  So I haven't had a friend after that for about 10 to 15 year until I met this friend that I have now.  I felt like that I didn't really need friend after I decided to start calling my Grandma because I had my Grandma to talk to but after my grandma had died then I needed a friend again. So before my Grandma (my Dad's mom) got sick we was talking and I told her how much I would like to be apart of my friend Sandra's family I prayed about it but it never happened I said if I was apart of that family then my life would change for the better and she said, "I bet it would, but don't worry I have a feeling that something wonderful going happen in your life soon."   Almost immaterially I was hoping it was my friend Rebecca would come into my life and change my life for the better.  I want to be happy not only for a few sort years but for the last of my life, I like her to be my caretaker and live with us, I been praying about it and hoping that my prayers will be answered and it will happen then I will get my wish.

Mom had a friend that worked at her school named Tonya and Mom and Tonya became friend even though Tonya was my age, she started doing things with us after we moved into this house.  My Mom got so excited when Tonya and her family came over and we did things together like a family I would babysit their kids while Tonya and Mom went shopping together and we ordered pizza and have dinner together, and one time we had Thanksgiving together we were like family Mom was so happy, I remember one time Mom came home from school so excited she said Tonya's coming over, Tonya's coming over!  In a happy voice, I just want her to be happy again like that.  Because Tonya moved and just like our other friends she did not keep in touch with us. It's sad but that how people are, I don't know why, I don't understand it.  Tonya or her husband both didn't have any family here so they did things with us because we don't have any family here either, so we became each other's family, until they move into their new house and met her neighbor then Mom said she stopped doing as much with us.  So now I wan't my friend Rebecca and her family to do things with us just like family, why not, they don't have family here and we don't either.  Maybe someday but Mom has to want it too, maybe it's meant to be.  But I am afraid it won't happen and she will leave my life too, that's why I am praying, fasting, doing everything I can do have her stay in my life.  But sometimes I do have feelings that it will happen, but now just convince my friend that she is suppose to be in in life.  I am so afraid that I'm going to lose her, so I'm making sure that I don't bug her even though I want to e-mail her more and I want her to e-mail me more and I want to call her but I know that she is busy, I just wish that I know what she busy with that she doesn't have time to invite me over.  That's one of the reasons I go into the girls room or the blue room because I feel such a burden to that family I just feel like they really don't want me around, they have their family and that's enough for them, and the fact that I just don't want to go home.  Who wants to go home and be lonely again?

My friend has already done so much for me, she cut my hair and she came to my house and visit me, she invited me me to the water park to go swimming with her and her family, and one Sunday she invited me home with her to watch the movie Frozen and for dinner and just to be with them.  She is really nice to me.  I just don't like when she ignores me, I wrote her e-mails thinking and hoping she would respond to me but she never does.  She told me once she doesn't know what to say, I said say something, tell me what I would say to you.  Is that so hard, I only want her to show me that she cares about me like I care about her.  I am shy too I rather have Becky call my friend Rebecca then to have me to bug her, I keep thinking that she won't be able to talk to me.  The last time I talked to my friend on the phone Becky called her and she wan't home so she called me back and we talked and she understood me and my feelings, I had a bad day that Saturday, and she listened to me, one of the last things I said that I just want my Mom to be happy and she said I know you do, that made me happy that she understands that.  I would like to do so much with her and she do thing for me like picking us up at Opportunity Village, and have the bus take us to her house so I don't have to walk home in the heat because I am still mad at Dad for what he did to me.  How dare he to treat me like that, he treated me less then a human being and I am even his daughter, I am still upset that he disowned me too but Becky doesn't care she say but he still our Dad.  How can he still be our Dad if he disowned us?  The reason he disowned so so we won't get anything after he dies.  What a mean Dad, he also wants to put up in a group home after Mom dies but we DON'T want to go to a group home.  Does Dad love us at all?  A group home is NOT  for us!

 HELP ME PLEASE Sister Michelson, please help me, I don't want to go to a stupid group home! :(  I am so scared to I have to go to a group home, please, please be our caretaker and live with us we can take care of each other.